Numb

My sweet tooth finally caught up to me. I have two cavities.

Well, seeing as I would like to see my teeth stay in my mouth, I decided to get them filled.

First, the dentist numbed the area with some "tastey" cherry flavored topical cream. This seemed to do a pretty decent job of making my mouth feel fuzzy and tingly. After the topical anesthetic, he injected a deeper local anesthetic to numb the root of the tooth.

Although seeing that needle coming at my face was a wee bit unnerving, I knew I would probably thank him later.

The whole process took about 30 minutes and I left with the knowledge that those particular two cavities wouldn't be a problem any longer.

There was just one problem. I couldn't feel my face.

If I hadn't known what happened, I would have swore I had had a stroke. Or that someone had sliced half my face off. Except that when I reached up to touch the lips that I was sure had disappeared, they were still intact. With a little drool leaking out the side. How attractive.

I tried to eat lunch. That was a trick. I knew my lips, my teeth and the right side of my tongue were there, but I couldn't feel them. No matter how I chewed, I couldn't, for the life of me, feel what that side of my mouth was doing.

Eerily, however, my brain knew what to do. Even though the feeling in my face was non-existent, my brain knew that - whether I felt them or not - my lips were there.

I think God can be like that sometimes.

Each day is different. Sometimes, God feels so close that you can imagine him standing next to you. You can envision Him holding your hand. The feeling can be so strong it drives you to your knees or has tears streaming down your face.

Other days, it's as if there is a local anesthetic in your life. You're numb. Incapable of feeling His presence if you stabbed your face with a fork.

On those days, it can be so hard to remember that He is still there.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you chew, the feeling just won't come.

But that doesn't mean He's gone. It doesn't mean he's left. Scripture tells us he won't EVER leave us or forsake us.

It's on those days that we need to remember the Truth that is manifested in our heart. That truth that screams, "Lord, you're there, even though my pitiful senses can't feel you." We need that heart memory to remember how to believe, even when believing seems impossible.

So, even though you might not feel your face right now, the feeling will come back.

Sometimes with a little soreness. Or maybe just with the fact that you can actually feel your mouth turn up in a smile...

So let your brain remember how to chew. Don't rely on nerves that so easily lose their feeling.

"You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious inexpressible joy." ~ 1 Peter 1:8

Don't Let the Fall Shake You

A few weeks ago, a friend invited me to go to an Ice Show with her.

That means figure skating, sequence outfits and cheesy music.

Who could say no to that?

There were skaters from all ages - little tykes who couldn't tie their own laces to professionals that made the sport look effortless.

At one point, a young lady came onto the ice to do a solo routine. She couldn't have been more than 16 years old and seemed to have quite a bit of confidence on her skates.

However, when she took her first jump - a double toe loop or triple tail spin or whatever they're called - she timed it inaccurately and fell. Ouch. The ice didn't look very soft.

She tried to recompose herself and keep going, but you could tell some of the wind was knocked from her sails.

Again she tried another jump. This time, she didn't fall completely, but the jump was by no means smooth. You could tell the poor girl was shaken.

By the end of the routine, a simple spin was hard for her and she had pretty much given up on trying anything, for fear of embarassing herself in the process.

Later in the show, a woman about 25 years old came onto the ice. This particular skater was invited to join the show because she was a professional. She had been on skates since she was two and even won National's the year before.

You could tell.

Her confidence was impenetrable. I'm not saying she didn't fall. She did, in fact. The difference between her and the young lady before her, however, was this:

She didn't let it shake her.

You can imagine, that in 20-some years on the ice, she is accustomed to falling. She knows she isn't perfect and that she won't perform everything exactly right all the time. When she fell, she got right back up and continued her routine with the same confidence she started out with.

Sometimes it's easy to give up, isn't it?

We fall, we fail, and we feel that there is no point. We've messed up, so why try?

Why? Because the music is still going.

When we're young, we fall and we feel like it is the end. In our walks with God we feel like we're unforgivable. We're failures.

It's not until we fall many times and are forgiven much that we truly understand that we can get back up and move on in confidence.

Have you fallen? Are you skating with confidence? Or with none at all? Or are you simply laying on the ice, waiting for the song to end and someone to drag you off?

Believe in God's unfailing love. Get up. He won't turn his back on you no matter how much you fall.

You have a routine to finish.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today or our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or the earth below could separate us from the love of God that is revealed to us in Jesus Christ our Lord."

~ Romans 8:38-39